Tag: tw

Measurements – R.W.

I can measure the state of my mental health
By the lines left in ny skin
Some scarlet and bumpy
Some pale and thin

I can measure my relationship with food
By the gap between the waistband
Of my jeans And the hips poking through
Like the knuckles in my hand

by Rhiannon Writes

Words On Their Own – R.W.

There’s poems that sit
Alone in my notes
Their loneliness
A reminder that sometimes it’s okay
To not tell everyone everything
I can keep secrets of my own

Sat Alone
They tell a story
Of my darkest moments
The ones I’m not sure
Wether to share would be worse

When I’ve written for myself
Words on a page
To help my busy brain
Extract the feelings
Make sense of them

Doesn’t mean anyone else needs to see them
They are mine
And mine alone

by Rhiannon Writes

Where To Turn? – R.W.

I’m not sober but I’m awake so that’s a win.

I stopped having feelings or opinions a couple of weeks ago
Around the time when things got super weird. 
Out of control
Out of my control
Never thought I’d see the day
I stopped fighting
I stopped fighting for the guys.
I can’t even advocate for me right now let alone them.
How am I supposed to lead when I’m losing ?
Everything, every day

They ask me where I go when I don’t know the answers
To stuff knowing I don’t get on with the people I’m supposed to trust.
And I don’t have an answer because its technically them
They don’t want to go to them, and I’d normally just ask you.
You’re so far away
You’ve got your whole own life
And I’m just here
Not fighting anymore

by Rhiannon Writes

Awareness Breeds Recovery – R.W.

‘I’m worried about my drinking’
It’s quite an honest conversation
Held in the calm of the office
Away from the chaos of the bar
‘Why’ ‘you’re doing okay’
That’s not how I feel
The pull of the numbing solution
To the way things have changed
Away from dealing with

Anything

by Rhiannon Writes

My Dad’s Diagnosis – R.W.

Side note , this is why I stopped writing for a few months. The few things I did write may never see the light of day

My dad’s got cancer
I feel like I should be writing about it
Processing
Using the words to sooth the pain
But all I can do is cry

Everyone deals with cancer differently
My only friend who’s had a parent go through the same thing
Reassures me
As my mum says she wants us to keep going as normal

Everyone else is asking questions
So many questions
What stage? How do they know?
Is it treatable?
I don’t have any of these answers
And if i did
I don’t know if I’d share

So many questions
Everytime my phone buzzes
Someone else asking something else
I don’t know
All I want to do is
Cry

The end result is switching my phone off
I’ve  told you
Now leave me alone

by Rhiannon Writes

Holding On – R.W.

I know I’m not keeping up
Not holding myself where I want to be
But this time I know
That I’ll work it out
It’ll be okay
I’m prioritising my stress levels
I might be behind
On the roster I wrote myself
Of when I needed to be complete by
But the noise inside my head
Is undercontrol
For the first time in a very long time

by Rhiannon Writes

Car Tears – R.W.

I’m crying in the car again
Tears rolling down my face again
Sadness creeping over me
Again
Not sad about any particular thing
Just the collective sadness
Of my existence at the moment
Overwhelming
Seeping out
Crawling down my face
In these times I’m on my own
Sat in the solitude
Of my commute

by Rhiannon Writes

3am – R.W.

The storm hits so much harder at 3am than 3pm
As the wind rustles up all the rubbish
Bring it to rest before your eyes
A perfect picture
Of everything that’s just not quite right
Blistered about out of control

by Rhiannon Writes

Be Gentle On My Bad Days – R.W.

Be gentle
Be gentle
Little things are still things
Today I did my washing
One of 5 things on my list
But that means tomorrow’s list
Starts with 4
I’m already further through
A little bit at a time
Gentle with myself
As I do what I can
Anything I tick off today
Is one less thing for tomorrow

by Rhiannon Writes